HAYLEE MATECKO

Mays Business School is an environment that fosters innovation, teamwork, and success. But, like any other business school, it is filled with students who are striving to get ahead, striving to be “on top”. People compare grades, resumes, and the amount of community service hours they have stacked up. I’ve often felt like I didn’t fit in because of this – when completing the Strengths finder assessment, most of the class had “Competitive” as their top strength; my top strength was “Restorative”, which is solving problems and restoring peace/harmony to a situation. By no means am I saying everyone in the school is selfish and I’m altruistic, but I’ve definitely noticed that my skill set does not lie in the cutthroat Wall Street life; it lies in finding harmony for those who haven’t found it yet. For these reasons, I found Give and Take, by Adam Grant, to be something that essentially hit the nail on the head for me.

 

Most people in the business world are takers, as Grant explained. However, looking out for nobody but yourself can be incredibly dangerous. You have to protect your front side from those you’re pushing yourself up against, and your back side from those who are gunning for you after you’ve stepped on them. This can create an environment in which you further your selfishness, and have to focus more on keeping yourself safe and successful, rather than focusing on making your team successful.

 

There is a spirit about America that focuses on instant gratification. People expect the results to come immediately, especially in this information age. The takers of the world are focused on just that – while they are successful today, reap the most benefits today, in the long run they may find themselves alone and without a support system. 

 

So what about the givers? What about the people that I claim to align with, who are more focused on their team than themselves? Grant explains that while in the first few years this group may be behind, they come out ahead in the long run. It makes sense to think that if you help others, in the beginning they will succeed faster – but over time, if you’re teaching, mentoring, and giving, that is a gift to yourself as well. Teaching something demonstrates mastery of the knowledge, and this allows givers to have a deeper understanding of their knowledge base. Right now, I find myself in this “behind” state. I have offered help with homework in accounting or finance classes, where my skill set lies. I have given time and energy to people to listen to their problems, school related or otherwise, and help formulate tactics to achieve a solution that produces the greatest benefit. But when I come home at the end of the day, and I’m left alone with my thoughts, I can’t help but think: where has all of this gotten me? I’m still uncertain of my major and career plans, and I wonder if I am closer to the bottom of the ladder – exhausted, unproductive in my own life as I expend all my energy on others – or if I am closer to the top – collaborative in a way that others give back to me, creating relationships that I benefit from and others benefit from as well. At this point I believe it’s too soon to say where I’m at, because I haven’t officially started a career. But within my own organizations and previous jobs, I would hope I am closer to the top of the ladder. I would hope that I am less of a doormat and more of an altruistic, restorative, kind human being that others want to get to know and are willing to give back to. Because more than anything in this life, that is what I’m striving to be. 

 

One of my favorite quotes is by Saint Francis of Assisi – “Preach the Gospel always; if necessary, use words.” In my eyes, people don’t decide to follow a religion because someone preached at them, or stopped them on the corner and gave them a handout. People decide to follow a religion because they see or experience the actions and the love pouring out from an individual, and want the same for themselves. In a way, this book puts that quote into the workplace – it’s not about what you say, it’s about what you do. It’s about how you contribute to the lives of those around you, how you take the time to pour into every individual you can. And, while it may take time, it eventually will come back to you.